Because I signed off on the cover and the galley.

So pretty much I put my pen to paper and signed my name, saying, “so… if there are any issues on the inside of this little puppy, it’s totally my fault.”

Which. Truly. Some of the jokes are so dumb in this book that you could label those as “issues” but let’s not talk about that right now.

We have a release date. I just need to confirm a few things [including a pre-release JUST for my blog readers, fingers crossed!] before I can tell you the date.

But it is in 2010.

BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

So save $13.95 of your Christmas gifting money so you can grab a copy for that sweet teen/college girl in your life. [Or for yourself. Whatevs. I’m not the boss of you.]

We didn’t have a real release date until Friday when Westbow called and left me a message saying, “Got the sign-offs. Headed to the printer. Here’s the release date.”

I walked into Emily‘s living room and said, “Um. The book is coming out. Soon. I’m scared.”

Because I am.

Because up to now the book has only been read by people who love me and know the sound of my voice. Because up to now the stories of hurt and hatred and fear have been stories I selectively share. Up to now, I haven’t had anyone dislike my book.

But it will happen. No book is for everyone.

Some people will read the book who [gasp] do not know me. And suddenly, the real stories that I have rarely [or never] told, of crying myself to sleep after being crowned homecoming queen, will be public.

The people who were in the gym when I was crowned homecoming queen will be able to read the stories as well. As if I want my high school friends to know what happened after we all drove home.

So I’m scared of strangers reading my book. And I’m scared of my people reading my book.

This is not a post asking you to make me feel better. I promise. I guess I’m laying out how I feel here to simply say that while this process with Westbow has seemed quick and easy [and boy! it has been!] and while y’all often comment about the excitement of all of this [and boy! it is!], I’m still just a normal human girl.

Who makes a heaping portion of mistakes.

Who struggles with her faith.

And has real fears.

And lays in bed at night worrying that no one will read the book.

Or worse yet, that EVERYONE will read the book.

BUT.

This book is for the girl that I used to be. The goal of this book is not to make me look awesome. The book is, God willing, going to make HIM look awesome and bring some degree of healing to the Christian girls who read it.

So the fears lose. The girls win. God will still love me no matter what.

And the book is coming out, tearful homecomings and all.

December 2010.

Booyah.

* * * * *

Next week: I’ll answer your questions! About the book, self-publishing, Westbow, all of it. So leave your questions in the comments or email me.

I’d also love to hear updates- anyone working with Westbow? Thinking about it? Starting to write a book of their own? Considering writing? Starting a blog? Have an idea for a book? Secretly aching to write? (It won’t be a secret anymore.) 🙂